regular ole inferno

On Saturday we craved burgers. Our friend Dr. Harry Weston (no relation to the Dr. Harry Weston of "Empty Nest" fame) came over to help us fire up the grill. That's him in the glasses. He added a hair too much lighter fluid and then set the grill on fire. Curry, pictured on the right, was too engrossed reading transcripts of JFK's speeches on the internet to notice the dangerous orange glow that had threatened the porch.

"Oh it'll burn out," Dr. Weston said in his fluid Georgia-Michigan accent.
"Do you really think so?" I said, taking full advantage of my new knowledge of Socratic irony.

Minutes later the wooden porch appeared to be afire. In fact it was only the dripping lighter fluid which was aflame. We were all a-twitter. Tweeter hit the flames with a wiffle bat, which kept them under control for a while. Before we knew it the flames kept dripping from the grill, spreading more and more, until they grew too numerous to control with a child's toy. Saratoga rushed inside to get the fire extinguisher. I stood around and prioritized my possessions so I could, if needed, quickly retrieve the most important ones.

(1. Laptop 2. Picture albums 3. Diary 4. Collection of tiny plastic pigs 5. Unsavory gifts from birthdays past, so as to avoid embarrassment when the firemen and insurance agents climb through the charred Shrimpfest rubble and say, "ma'am, is this thing yours?")

Before Saratoga could operate the extinguisher, Tweeter turned on a hose which I forgot we owned and washed away the flames. Then Dr. Weston closed the grill cover and smothered the flames.

A collective sigh of relief came, followed by several collective aggravated coughs brought on by smoke inhalation.

The Elder Ms. emerged from the kitchen with a bowl of potato chips, having missed the whole thing. She did not seem too upset, as her sweet potato plant was still in good health.

All was good after. The food was tasty. These photos are courtesy of our friend Fenley Notch who avoided the near-apocalypse but still managed to capture its breathtaking beauty.